A few weeks ago someone told me that when a person becomes involved in a dating relationship they lose two of their closest friends. Before this year I would think that was absolutely ridiculous, until I experienced it first hand. Now don't get me wrong, I know when you first start dating someone it's new and exciting and you want to be able to get to know them more blah blah blah. However, I personally don't think it's healthy if you spend every free moment you can with them. It's important to invest time with your friends for a few reasons:
1. They were there first:
Remember that you partook in this friendship way before your dating relationship. Your friends were there when you first met your love, and you probably asked advice about if you should take the next step (become boyfriend/girlfriend) or just remain friends with them. You probably trusted them enough to meet said person, and if they approved then you felt comfortable to go ahead in the relationship.
2. God made us different:
As much as I love being married, I think I would pull my hair out if I wasn't able to see/hang out with another female. Don't get me wrong, I love Keven with all that's in me, but it's nice to chat with my girlfriends and talk about girl stuff. Any guy will tell you how much they enjoy a night with the guys, whether its playing basketball or video games, just being able to hang out together is so enjoyable. Same thing goes for girls.
3. When things get rough:
What happens if your and your new love have a disagreement, or get into a huge argument? Most of the time, you think you're right while the other thinks they are right. Most people don't know how to work through such a matter, and they like to take the easy route and call it quits. It's good to be able to vent about this frustration to your friends. This way you get an unbiased third party involved, and they can help you to take a rational approach about it.
4. Real ones tell the truth:
Your friends want you to be happy, and don't want to see you end up with a lame-o. Therefore, they will be able to surface your "loves" flaws and bring them to your attention. This is great because you may still have the love puppy goggles on, clogging up your vision. Now you can see if this flaw is something that you can work past, or if it's something that could be a deal breaker.
So, how can you go about making sure you don't lose two of your closest friendships when you become involved in a new relationship? Look at your calendar and set specific days/nights to hang out with your friends. If you go more than a week without talking with your friend, or more than two weeks without hanging out, then some red flags should be drawn. Your friends can only do so much with texting, calling, sending Facebook messages, etc. to get your attention, it's up to you to return the favor and set something up. If you don't, right now it may not seem like a big deal, but when you look back at your past all your memories will be filled with just going in and out of relationships, and not having steady friends by your side.
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